how now brown cow?

2012-01-16T20:44:00.003+08:00

i hate it when i get too attached to someone,an animal or something.
i get upset and sometimes becomes a bit bitter when its gone.

blegh

2012-01-09T01:46:00.001+08:00

it's funny how i could be really childish and manja with just one person.

2012-01-09T00:45:00.003+08:00

honestly,i'm SO tired already.i got myself back to how it was before,lost and confused.
i feel like i should just drop everything on the cold hard floor and leave.i think all my actions are obvious enough.i'm just really dissapointed that its still left unseen.

yet,i have no idea why i still bother to stick around.

would be nice if somehow someone could just lift me up and bring me away from all this confusion and feeling of uncertainty.i don't wanna burden myself with thoughts like this any longer.
it's not even close to healthy for me.

2011-12-31T01:43:00.002+08:00

HAHA berani lah sia main-main lagi.i hope you'll not take another step and cross the line.you may not want to see me unleash my heartless,stone-turned heart inside of me.

2011-12-14T00:20:00.002+08:00

i'm at a point where i don't which plan to start first.
i'm at a point where i still can't step out of my comfort zone.
i'm at a point where i couldn't decide whether to let someone enter life.
i'm at a point where i'm still having a hard time letting the guilt go away.
i'm at a point where i couldn't stop thinking about my future.
i'm at a point where i have to decide between standing up or giving up.

damn.i'm tired.

2011-12-13T22:35:00.004+08:00

Airina Roslan
Amy Begum
Suraya Khan

i am proud to say that i'm blessed for having these three people in my life.this year has been most challenging for the four of us.we had to deal with alot of things.anyway,i'm really glad that they didn't leave me alone when i was in a downfall.i remember a few months ago when i felt so alone 'cause i didn't confront both Amy and Sino about certain things.i'm glad i decided to do that after keeping it to myself for so long.despite all of our stuborn selves,we managed to help each other out.i got happier after spm,we got closer and closer like how it was back then.i noticed that i'm always in a happy mood recently.
WEEEEEEELL,how i can i not be happy when all they've done is making me happy and cheerful all the time? kan kan kan.

however,pushing other people away have become a habit of mine...suddenly.
i KNOW i need to stop doing so.it is not nice and really rude of me. :/
ever since i've encountered so much problems,i've started become more alert and proctective of myself.I HATE BEING HURT AND FEELING STUPID.
so,i guess that's why i just start to ignore or talk/chat less with other friends.

okay dah.i'll change for the better.

2011-12-03T23:23:00.003+08:00

ah..am in the right moment to start blogging.

2011 was definitely one of the most challenging year that i've been through.

i) getting ready for spm
ii) problems with/between bestfriends
iii) upsetting breakup
iv) kept winding myself away from my priorities

v) self discover

i know the world has WAY bigger problems than mine and i shouldn't whine much.still,i just can't help it.the pain inside me aches like crazy.
well,i'm not hurting as much as before but heck,i could still feel it.sometimes,i actually wonder how i'm still proudly standing up with a smile on my face.

ok arh sebenarnya nak kata cam bangga lah kan that i'm actually that strong.

lol okay,i shall stop bragging.

anyway,my main point of posting this is to say that don't give up when you're suddenly or constantly facing challenges in your life.every cloud has a silver lining.
with all these things going on in your life,its just gonna make you stronger.you're not gonna realize that until you sit down,take deep breaths and calm yourself down.so,stop hurting or blaming yourself.

♥

2011-12-03T22:03:00.001+08:00

i should really start blogging now.fingers! i command you to work!

2011-12-02T21:28:00.002+08:00

well hello blogger.i missed you!

2011-08-22T18:11:00.002+08:00

am facing so much challenges this month.
losing faith in love.

2011-08-09T14:19:00.003+08:00

these past few days have been pretty frustrating to me.i got sick yesterday and i had to sleep late due to some last minute work that i was asked to do.. Alhamdulillah,i recovered fast during sahur this morning.lately,my sleeping pattern is so messy,it's like all over the place man..
anyway,i went to school as usual today and found out that i had to redo ALOT of work.my school really got issues,no kidd.what's worse is i couldn't pay much attention in class today bcs i accidentally left my glasses at home. -_____-

i felt like crying during Bio bcs i was already stressed out since the moment i stepped in the school compound today.however,i was somehow strong-minded today so i managed to overcome it.thank god,takdelah nak ber-emo dkt sekolah or anythin'.masa tak terbuang~

so,that's all i guess.dah mengadu sikit2 cukup ah. huahua
signing off to continue my long-awaited work.

2011-08-07T23:38:00.003+08:00

i swear,i could get insomnia.it's so hard to sleep when you have so much on your mind.it's not just abt emotions,it's also abt ....everything else.

2011-07-31T18:55:00.000+08:00

luar je happy.

2011-07-31T17:34:00.003+08:00

sebab i sekarang ada berapa org je yg faham my situation.
i wanna go back to how i was back then,that is... being one of those
Miss Independent.

2011-07-31T00:10:00.007+08:00

i was extremely bored.

2011-07-30T13:01:00.002+08:00

cruel,cruel world.

is it like possible for someone to actually die out just bcs they can't tolerate everything anymore?
no,can't give up.this is just how life is.for all the pain that anyone is currently going through,something good must be waiting for the right time to happen to them as well.

can't give up,we just have to keep on trying till we succeed.

2011-06-30T22:49:00.002+08:00

it is just so amazing how someone could actually be terribly irritating and plain stupid.it's okay,i understand that YOU're the only person on earth who has feelings.

2011-06-17T21:31:00.002+08:00

these past few days made me realize that my independent self has finally come back.it's like as if i'm celebrating it as well since i've been eating and eating non-stop.

i feel nothing.

2011-06-02T21:06:00.003+08:00

never have i thought everything's coming back to me that fast.watched no strings attached today since i was really bored after the morning studies.somehow,i could relate myself to Natalie Portman's character (minus her sexual desires and goddess-like physical appearance)
i'm not sure whether i'm still like that or not.it's scary,really.
i was so paranoid abt getting hurt,it affected me and other people.

2011-05-15T22:14:00.001+08:00

i'm just so tired of feeling like this.i feel stupid for feeling sorry for myself.
if i'm supposed to go back to how i was like back then,

so be it.

i will not seek any attention anymore.go figure out everything by yourselves.

2011-05-07T14:22:00.002+08:00

i was rummaging through my closet today and i found this.

a Nepal pashmina as a gift from Unc Sebastian. :)

2011-05-06T23:15:00.001+08:00

who knew,someone who i barely talk to could actually understand my situation. :B

2011-05-06T22:12:00.002+08:00

wow,this blog looks pretty dead here now. -.-
ever since i created the private tumblr,i got so comfortable expressing everything there.

i do miss the enviroment here though.i am thinking abt getting back to blogspot soon.maybe just update a little bit of this and that.i'll try to keep updating my blogspot with,stuff.

hm

2011-04-30T15:56:00.002+08:00

when you're bloody pissed off,the thought of sitting down to think thoroughly about what you're about to say never crosses your mind sometimes.

Kan?

2011-03-04T22:11:00.002+08:00

oh wow, how dead can my blogspot get? anyways,things have been pretty hectic than usual at school.

am constantly feeling half dead almost all the time.

still trying to balance out everything at school.mmhm struggling.

supposed to have Annual School Marathon tmrw but then it got postponed to next month. Yay *rolls eyes

.

2011-02-15T11:47:00.006+08:00

good day everyone and Salam Maulidur Rasul to my Muslim brothers and sisters. :)

i'm going to create a private tumblr after my ujian formatif in march. i didn't know other people aside from friends are reading my blog now.

i love getting to write about anything i want but now,i don't really have the freedom to do that in blogspot.so,here comes tumblr.

oh,i will still update this blog.however,it's just going to be about school events and nothing else.

i will only be passing the tumblr password to those who are close to me later.

shutter

2011-02-13T18:57:00.006+08:00

SO,i guess DSLRs are some kind of a teenage need for,i don't know....trends? i've been observing my FB newsfeed and latest upload of photos with a mug of coffee in my hand this evening.what i will say after this may be a bit of slap on the face to anyone even me.

k,first is i realized that most people my age owns a DSLR.i own one too for about 4 years already.
a friend of mine also has a DSLR but what bothers (ok,not bother.more like irritate) me is that she/he didn't bother to learn about all the functions.i don't really care what she/he wants to take pictures of (self,hangouts with friends,work,hobby etc etc).but doesn't it feel like wasting when you go buy a huge,bulky,oversized camera which cost like thousands of MYR and you only use it on 'Auto' mode ?
waste kan? better get compact camera liddat.

second is,i noticed that most of them are so crazed about getting DSLRs,and tend to get a bit competitive with other DSLR owners abt what kind of SLRs they own.
"omg,omg i need to get new smexy SLR.","MUST GET THE LATEST SLR"
ahh,something like that.sometimes,i think some of them don't even know why they even want SLRs.peer pressure lah kot.

yeah,i am titled as school photographer,but i don't admit that i'm a photographer.i'm just the person who helps in taking pictures in school.unless if i'm being paid for it,then i'll admit that i'm photographer.kira job lah jugak when you're being paid.hehe :P and one thing to be clear,i did not ask or beg my parents for DSLR.i did get a bit jealous when a friend of mine got a DSLR bcs of the pixels and neverending(tipu) functions.i was happy with my Casio compact camera ♥ but then one day,dad came home with a DSLR.so heh,lucky me i guess.photography has been a hobby ever since.

however,i rarely shoot some pictures now.somehow,nothing seems to inspire me.*inserts pathetic face expression*
i'm guessing it's because i'm just tired of dealing with other important stuff now. *coughstudyingcoughcough*

2011-01-30T23:37:00.002+08:00

"u seem happy all the time :)"

-anon

heh NO.not all the time k.if i'm happy all the time then my brain must've been screwed up.

2011-01-29T19:27:00.003+08:00

nothing's changed and that really suprises me.

i love you. :)

2011-01-23T13:12:00.001+08:00

OF COURSE I'M PISSED OFF. :)

isn't it obvious you dumb bean?

rambling,

2011-01-22T18:01:00.003+08:00

sick for 4 days straight.total joy.

i hate this.curse you immune systems for being so weak.i've only been through ONE whole hectic week and now i'm down with a fever for days.guess i really inherited this from my mum.

*sighs

anyways,went to school today for the sekolah ganti thing.oh god,one of the things i hate is going to school during the weekends.didn't really learn much though since they combined the whole 2 classes into 1.on the the other hand,me and some of the prefects had bits of 'duties' to do today.after that,hungout with them at the pondok since nothing was going on in the class.i did not know how i managed to laugh with them like mad in a feverish state.haha so,school today wasn't that boring.it was just,nice.had BM lessons an hour before school ends but i couldn't help falling asleep during the lesson though.i was really trying to pay attention while Man Yee was presenting her work but i was just so dizzy that time so yeah.i woke up 10 minutes before school ends and next thing i know the 'mates and i were singing one of Malaysia's song.i totally forgot the title heh heh heh -.-

2011-01-21T20:54:00.002+08:00

the world really is crumbling down little by little.i chatted with someone random about this and he was denying it.isn't everything that's happening now obvious enough? sometimes,i just think the world does not have any more strength to carry more sinners on its back.

i love you all equally

2011-01-16T18:17:00.002+08:00

k i really have lots to tell but i do not want to annoy you people by talking about my love life..(well,yeah all those excitening stuff is mostly abt the lovey-dovey thing)

so,SKIP.

i miss my girls.really.i do see them at school and everything i haven't been really hanging out that much with them. i haven't chatted that much with them anymore.i've been terribly busy on weekdays.i thought of hanging out with them during the weekends,lepak curve ke or anything since i'm pretty much ALWAYS there *slaps forehead

buuuuut i wouldn't want to disturb them spending time with the family.weekends are family times after all kan?

GOD.who knew 2011 would be this challenging.

i am literally (dead serious lah sia) counting the days until the hols so that i could actually hangout with them.

tapi lah kan...with all these curriculum activities starting this week,dpt lah kot catch up with everything time stayback hehehehhehe

wow.only now lah i finally remembered what i've been waiting to blog about.hmmm i'll blog about it next weekend lah i suppose.i need to get of the pc.

oh yes.i have something to tell and i'm so bloody proud about it. :3

I FINALLY MANAGED TO CONTROL MYSELF.I MANAGED TO RESTRAIN MYSELF FROM GOING ONLINE,WATCHING THE TV & PLAY GAMES DURING THE WEEKDAYS.I FXCKING PASSED THE WHOLE THING LAST WEEK.I STUDIED ALL THE WAY. (i do not need to insert any thumbs up symbol here because all this shxt is just too awesome than a symbol hahahahhaha) *dances like Beyonce

k that is all.i lav yu ol.

2011-01-16T07:22:00.002+08:00

how did his mum knows?! :3

jumpa tukang tilik ke pe hahaha

2011-01-16T06:12:00.003+08:00

it's only been two weeks in school and i've learned so much.i don't think i shld elaborate what i've learned much here though.i have no time for arguments,fights or any other shit with anyone,nuff said.

one thing for sure is,people should just do what they're supposed to do and stop complaining.total waste of time i must say.

2011-01-16T06:11:00.000+08:00

dunia ni mmg nak kiamat dah agaknya.

2011-01-08T23:32:00.001+08:00

I HATE DOUBTS.look what its doing to me now.
i need a hug.

:(

2010-12-29T23:17:00.001+08:00

asyik aku je,kau pulak bila?

'nuff said

2010-12-24T23:47:00.002+08:00

i am blessed with these people whom i call bestfriends. c':

2010-12-18T01:56:00.002+08:00

Happy finally-Getting Old,darling. :)

i don't need to give another long wish here right? haha

anyways,pe ni.birthday lambat gila.you're like 7 months younger than me.this is so unacceptable hahaha.

love you.

2010-12-15T01:15:00.002+08:00

i love you,but right now i'm still a bit upset with what happened.

i don't want to talk,yet.i'm sorry.

gnight,love.

my head is a terrible place to be

2010-12-14T15:31:00.003+08:00

it's frustrating how these things in my head is all jumbled up together,making me all confused almost all the time.it tends to make me have this mixed emotions,too. :|

2010-12-14T01:32:00.003+08:00

I'M SORRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT TOO SERIOUSLY? :'(

without you,i'm just miles away

2010-12-08T22:47:00.004+08:00

thank you 15/11/10

i did not expect this,at all. (:

2010-12-08T20:19:00.002+08:00

WHO THE FLYING FALAFEL ASKED YOU TO DISTANCE YOURSELF AWAY?

definitely cheery.

2010-12-04T23:05:00.008+08:00

last thursday and friday was two of the best days of my life.spent a day with three of my favourite girls on thursday and spent a day with the whole bunch minus one (alolololo) on friday.what's fun abt it is that everything was totally unplanned.

Thursday:

woke up that morning feeling quite excited bcs the girls are coming over to hangout.i haven't

hungout with COMPLETELY the three of them for two weeks so,of course i got excited!

hehe.that afternoon,got a call from Amy,she was like "oh hey,let's go to Giza.lepak2 semua".so,after getting mom's permission to go,got ready and dressed up in 3 minutes.total record bcs usually,i take longer time to get ready.while on the way to Amy's,got a ride there frm the help of Hannah and her friend,Dini.it's been awhile since i last saw Hannah,hmm.

so anyway,chatted with Airin for awhile while waiting for Amy & Sino.oh,and i finally get to meet Kak Nad's hamster.so cute i feel like kidnapping that little thing.

around 15 minutes later,got out,picked up Sino and finally headed out to

Dataran Sunway.we were thinking of joining this one gathering that we were supposed to attend but then,nak balik later mcm mana? -.-"

after a few minutes drive,we finally arrived.what we did was just walking around going into each and every boutiques there.all the things were superb,too bad i can't shop,YET,for now.

left there after spending around,an hour and a half(?) i think.

me and the girls headed back to my place to just chill around.now this is one of our favourite part,wait,THEIR favourite part ;

-rummaging through my closet

-attacking my Mac with limitless photos of them

hahaha :P

went to Petronas for uhh,snack time later.i really had a bit relieve talking about everything with the three of them and of course there were confessions as usual :B

so yeah.that's....everything for the day. ♥

Friday:

went jogging that morning with Airin,Amy,Arimi and Amin.supposed to start jogging around 7:30.okay,i lied.7 to be precise.most of us ended up waking up a little later hehh :P

anyways,while the girls and i waited for the guys.me and Airin had a few laps of jogs and walks around the park while Amy had a bit of a nap,i think on the bench haha.

after one long hour,both of the guys finally arrived.walked around Subang Bestari with them except for Airin who actually jogged almost all the way.hurah for her ;)

went back to my house.hung around for a bit while and then we finally decided to make breakfast on our own.we absolutely had lotsa fun of crse.there were literally 6 pairs of hand making breakfast including my bibik.hahaha

we made ourselves two whole plates of french meat bread,a plate of stacked pancakes and coffee! ♥

one of my fingers got burned heeeeeh :P the kitchen was really full and noisy that morning bcs well,we don't do this often! Airin enjoyed herself mixing up the pancake and meat mixture,Amy and Amin enjoyed making pancakes,and Arimi helped me with the french meat bread (actually,more like just watching me cook -.-" hahaha) .so yeah,got the tables and coffee ready later.then we finally settled down for breakfast. :) fortunately,we had a good breakfast.food was good (THANK GOD) :B

we were supposed to watch a movie after but somehow,everyone seems to be lazying around on the couch.tak jadi lah nampaknya hehh.played and cuddled around with the cats to kill our boredom.after about and hour or so,they went back.

So,yeah that's all. :)

2010-11-29T16:13:00.004+08:00

i'm still having mood swings and i'm not even menstruating.

FFFUUUU

go die hormones DIEEEEEEE -.-

what's worst is my blogging mojo is not even close on getting back to me. :(

2010-11-24T22:03:00.003+08:00

sorry,i don't really wanna talk to anyone.

no worries,i don't have any problems.i just want to be alone for a bit while.

anti-social mode : ON.

2010-11-21T16:08:00.003+08:00

how can i not love you for you are always full of suprises?

suprises that always make the butterflies in my stomach go crazy. :)

rocks

2010-11-19T15:20:00.002+08:00

i'm tired of dealing with people who still does not learn from their mistakes.it's just sad to see them fall over and over again over the same problem.

i've no idea how to help them anymore.

*sighs

baby you're a firework

2010-11-13T17:41:00.003+08:00

an absolutely nice song.the sparks shooting out of her boobs was weird,though.

heh.

burst

2010-11-11T21:17:00.005+08:00

FMFL.how do you expect me to start learning this and that if you're blocking every single thing?

ugh.i seriously need to get out of here for awhile.i hate loitering around here.i feel trapped.i feel lifeless.i feel like crying.

god so emo.

2010-11-06T19:16:00.002+08:00

i am so tired i could cry. :'(

should've just stayed at home.

2010-11-04T21:00:00.002+08:00

the only dude who thinks i have chubby cheeks.HAHA

finally! now i have someone who actually agrees with me abt my cheeks. -.-

♥

2010-11-02T18:50:00.000+08:00

good god,i need to restrain myself frm cursing all day long.hmph.

2010-11-02T18:43:00.005+08:00

PLEASE BE MORE APPRECIATIVE.IT'S NOT LIKE I DIDN'T WANT TO HELP YOU AT ALL.IT'S YOUR FCXKING ATTITUDE THAT PUSHES ME AWAY ALL THE FXCKING TIME.WHEN I'M HELPING YOU,YOU'RE ALWAYS ASKING FOR SOMETHING IMPOSSIBLE FROM ME.I HAVE A FXCKING HEART K.NOT LIKE YOU.

mentally drained

2010-11-01T20:25:00.004+08:00

fxck yeah i survived throughout the whole 2 weeks(!) i'm just so glad that finals are finally over,i feel like crying :')

*pushes sivik book aside.

masks

2010-10-22T17:43:00.004+08:00

i think i'm really bad in pretending.i just realized this a few days ago.when i actually despise someone,i think my actions actually shows signs of dislike towards em' .somehow,i feel like it's fxcking obvious.god,i need to be more tolerating.my actions are not nice,i know.

however,it seems like the person didn't really see it.

hmm.

hell yeah i'm excited

2010-10-19T21:47:00.003+08:00

you are the sweetest thing ever.i actually just heard hayley williams singing 'the only exception' through phone just now eventhough there were screaming fans around you.i love you mi,very much. :)

2010-10-14T18:25:00.002+08:00

why do i feel so shxtty and sad? i hate it.

things just change.

2010-10-05T18:19:00.004+08:00

i remembered saying to myself after my split up with an ex of mine, "that's it,no more relationships.penat aku.lek lu lek lu". i was really tired of fighting and being miserable almost frequently.so yeah,bajet sat kata dah malas nak getting myself involved in rltnships.

HAHA,riiiiiight.

this only lasts for only abt a few months.suddenly this boi in the photo below kind of appeared out of the blue,i think.we were merely just friends since last year,then i don't knw what happened we became bestfriends and lastly he became my beau.haha

he's just different and which is why i think he really caught my attention in the first place. :)

Jimi Hendrix :D

2010-10-01T18:20:00.003+08:00

this week is Miss Tan's,my eng prcticl tchr, lst week in my schl.SO,we (classmates and i) did a farewell prty fr her last wednesday and did sme prfrmance fr her,today.well,evrythg went quite smooth.eventhough everyone did nt join fr the farewell prty,it ws still okay.we still hd loads of fun.plus,the truth-or-dare game pretty mch made the party more fun and hmm,lively.the prfrmances today ws also quite funny and cheery.hpefully this is would be one of Miss Tan's memorable moments.we will miss you Miss Tan.. :)

2010-09-28T21:06:00.003+08:00

i'm sorry,i've tried telling you nicely but you won't listen.

No means fxcking NO.

2010-09-23T21:10:00.001+08:00

he is one my favourite people :)

I

2010-09-16T23:22:00.005+08:00

-hate the current situation that i'm in now.
-miss my friends and him so much.
-miss hugs.
-wish i could be there for my friends all the time
-hate being pushed around.
-think it's time for you to get over it.
-am sure about my feelings for him.
-wish life was easier.

2010-09-16T21:23:00.002+08:00

i feel like crying,honestly.i miss my friends,my brother and you.

2010-08-27T06:58:00.001+08:00

♥ :)

air filled

2010-08-22T02:32:00.004+08:00

i am supposed to be sleeping right now zzz :|

aaanyways,i just realized i haven't rambled about any unimportant stuff in this blog for quite some time.so,to kill time.....

just got back from Kayu@Sunway Dmnsara.was from Curve at first but then dad drove all the way to Kayu and we had a late supper/sahur with uncle shahril,uncle rudy,uncle seba and pablo.ngeh me and pablo were the only youngsters there.
-___-'

was listening to the old men chatting away,i thght it wld be boring but guess i was wrong.had fun listening to their chats and joining them bit by bit.i was excited in silence when i heard uncle seba ordering foods in malay.well,what do you expect? i don't see matsalleh(s) speaking malay everyday okay xD
OH!i have never tasted capati tampal telur before so i wld say that this is one of my best sahur,ever. hahahaha

so,after spending almost two hours there,went home.
i think i saw pak mie with his friends while i was on my way walking to the car.he had this suprised yet funny expression on his face which made me laugh all alone.ahah!

so,guess that's all.i shall force myself to sleep now.
knightbye.

2010-08-21T20:29:00.002+08:00

today has been a little depressing,having to accept some things tht everyone wld always deny abt themselves but haihh..STILL,it is good for everyone.
of course,it was quite difficult to accept em' at first but after awhile everyone seems to be more,open.

it's a little upsetting that i was err,speechless today though.
-__-'

2010-08-21T13:55:00.004+08:00

you knw,a certain someone asked me why i curse/swear so much in some of my posts in my blog.

well,here's my answer,i don't have the guts to curse out loud by voice because it will make me feel guilty and will make me think that i am disrespectful cursing in public.well yeah once in awhile,it slips out of my mouth,ONLY when i'm really pissed off.i always hold myself back from cursing bcs i actually dislike doing it but i don't know,i don't mind hearing other people curse.guess i'm just so adapted to the whole 'suka hati korang,hak kau bukan hak aku.'
yeah,i know what you're thinking."kata tak suka curse tapi dalam blog boleh pulak curse? pening ah"
yeah since i don't curse in public,this is how i do it;cursing in writing.at least i'm not cursing by voice.lagipun,readers berapa org je kot so it felt like i'm cursing all alone without any people having to hear or read it.

so,to those who happens to even hate reading blogs filled with curses,stop reading my posts and stop going to my blog.
*well,i don't even know if i have readers here.

2010-08-19T14:06:00.002+08:00

we shldn't be apologizing to you,didn't do anythg wrong twrds you.bfre the prblm occured,we hve alwys been patience with yr attitude.unfortunately,you decided cross the fxcking line.so,it's yr loss.
but then,it doesn't mean we've totally given up on you.we're still....

waiting.

2010-08-13T14:18:00.001+08:00

yu. :]

2010-08-10T18:07:00.002+08:00

i sensed something about my life.lately,it seems different.i felt different and what worries me is that i don't know whether i like that feeling or not.

i'm worried abt myself right now.i broke my own fxcking promise on what i wanna do this year.fxck distractions,i'm supposed to be stronger than how i am now.
fts.

2010-08-07T11:23:00.003+08:00

seriously,i have never missed anyone as much as i miss you. :'(
what did you do to me?

2010-08-03T21:39:00.002+08:00

i feel like just singing instead of talking,

2010-07-29T20:08:00.003+08:00

i dnt knw hw my brain is actually functioning lately,it's like as if i've been a robot this past few days.sometimes,i just do stuff or speak without thinking properly which pretty much scares me bcs i'm RARELY like that.i also realized that i alwys feel uneasy every nw and then.i did alot of thinking and recallings but i cn't seem to find anything tht's making me feel like this.

*sighs

2010-07-28T15:46:00.003+08:00

fine,go ahead and continue yr 'thing' but once you go way past my patience level,imma spank you.

hmpph.

2010-07-27T18:13:00.002+08:00

I MISS SO MANY THINGS AND PEOPLE,IT HURTS LIKE CRAZY WHEN I REMINISCE THEM AND THE GOOD OL' DAYS.

sumpah,bila boleh jumpa semua orang balik ni?

2010-07-26T20:29:00.003+08:00

i really don't understand certain people around me.when they create their own problem,is it a MUST for them to find someone to blame for? i mean,why is it so hard for them to admit or accept the fact that they're the fxcking problem? seriously,i'm just so irritated by this.

2010-07-25T14:33:00.003+08:00

blessed with good friends around me,i'm grateful. ♥

totally

2010-07-21T23:19:00.004+08:00

me and this heart of mine,we got issues.

unconcious?

2010-07-21T22:44:00.002+08:00

i feel like b*tchslapping you repeatedly.

you're getting waaaaay past the line,don't pretend you don't know that.

2010-07-19T18:01:00.003+08:00

i happen to still,not know what i actually want in my life.its real difficult for me to face THIS.it's such a huge problem for me,it's such a BIG distraction,no kidding.

i just hate it because i tend to waste too much time just by thinking too much.

I soooo need help -.-

2010-07-18T18:50:00.003+08:00

nw this is bloody frustrating.shld hve dropped accounts whn i had the chance to.

dumbfxck :|

2010-07-16T23:00:00.001+08:00

despite all the sadness and frustrations that i'm having now,you managed to make me smile .

thank you.

cat lover

2010-07-16T22:39:00.004+08:00

i can't believe my dear kitten,Carlista died this morning.played and cuddled with her just yesterday and now she's gone,forever.

i'm quite frustrated here.i took care of her like crazy for one whole month but haihh

one thing that i'm a little relieved abt is she's reunited with her little sister,Greta,insyaallah. :')

unfortunately,what makes me all morose and teary eyed now is that her little voice is still ringing in my head,even images of her running around and jumping around is in my head.i miss her already.after breaking my fast today,i almost went to the kitchen to go feed her till i realized she's gone.i would usually be feeding her food and some meds around that time.now i won't be doing that anymore and i'm gonna miss it alot.

Carlista,i hope you're okay over there. ♥

2010-07-15T23:52:00.002+08:00

bxtch,hurting my friend's feelings does hurt MY fxcking feelings too.

stress reliever

2010-07-15T21:50:00.003+08:00

stayed back at mekdi today after school with amy,arimi,amin,faten,kak nab,megat,liyana,danial,acap,afiq and rohaizad.haha what a mouthful! (Y)

was supposed to stayback just to get something done for the upcoming mpm's high tea,but then amy,arimi and amin joined me so,hungout with them and did some hws after i was done helping around with mpm stuff.was laughing with them throughout the whole time! sumpah cannot tahan xD

one of the reasons is because we (amyarimiamin and i) discovered something about a certain friend of ours,haha sumpah lawak k.

pity amy and arimi,still not done with their hws haha.

aaanyways,today was fun and i actually felt truly relaxed. ♥

2010-07-13T16:30:00.000+08:00

truth is,i loike you.

ehem.

Germany

2010-07-08T05:01:00.003+08:00

macam mana tak cair der? ♥

haihh,i can't believe Germany actually lost to Spain.throughout the whole game,me and the 'rents kept on yelling "holycrap!","come on Germany!","no way!" and everything.haha seriously,we,cehh no,just me,had such high hopes for Germany.i couldn't sit still throughout the whole game,kept on sitting at different places haha.

Spain was so good,and so fast! :O Puyol from Spain got some head wehh! he actually scored after the second time using his head.D A Y U M.Spain won because of his head.all hail Puyol's head! hahahaha

well,i'm not really dissapointed here because Germany played real good tonight,but just like what Omar said in his fb status,

"I feel for Germany , they've played sooo good this World Cup :/ beating Argentina and England like peanuts . Damn . But it's Spain , whattodo . They're not like Argentina or England :P"

ya allah.my head hurts like crazy,i'm suppose to be asleep right now and i am currently sick,but for Germany i will kan.....SO, ♥

2010-07-07T14:04:00.006+08:00

gatal kan kau? mcm nak mintak kena lempang dgn aku.aku tgk mcm ramai je perempuan keliling pinggang kau.

seriously,you have no other reasons to be depressed all the time.it's not like you're always alone.stop being so dramatic.

apa kau nak dari aku?

2010-07-04T22:44:00.002+08:00

i feel like crap right now.everything was just about to go well so far for me until you mentioned something which totally ruined everything.
fxck.

can't i have at least have one whole happy day to myself? :'(

2010-07-03T18:28:00.003+08:00

one of the reasons why i hate it when you're not around is bcs i tend to get bored,and 'unconsciously' vain.

i know,i'm so lame right? x)

old rainbow

2010-07-02T21:01:00.006+08:00

heh,i feel like crying my heart out.
someone that i've lost contact with and have put aside this past few months came into my mind and it just somehow stayed.....
there.

i loved this prson so much back then,and now i only love this prson as a friend.hmm,let's name this person,X.

i was so young back then,and so immature while X is way older than me,and very matured.moreover,i didn't really have felings for X at first.
anyways,i was so afraid to be a part of X's life because X was such a nice person,thoughtful,smart ohh how shall i say it? X is almost too good to be true..me,on the other hand was just haihhh..

so yeah,we moved on being just good friends.after days and weeks passed,my feelings for X grew stronger.never have i had such a strong feeling towards someone like that.i kind of regretted rejecting X and even after a few 'replacements',i still think of X once in a while.damn,you have no idea how guilty i felt.
then,after the big exam,X transferred to another school.i was kind of shattered and messed up when i was told abt the transfer.

hehh,but then i kept telling myself this, "suck it up girl,be strong.at least X is going to a good school.it would be very good for X's future anyway."

aaaand,i thought the feelings would go away after the long distance between us.turns out it didn't go away for a good 2 years.
OH THE P A I N
:'(

haihh,but alhamdulillah i managed to go thrgh 'all this'.i'm all okay now and i'm totally all over it.

i'm just a little lost,

2010-07-01T20:24:00.003+08:00

you knw,i have a lot of things to let out but i'm tht kind of prson who don't really like writing and expressing my feelings into words.it always take me quite some time to put everything in place when i write and express it.

one tough sh*t for me,seriously.

heh,i remembered bck then when my frnds confronted and scolded me for hiding my thoughts and feelings all to myself.bcs,heh when i'm not satisfied abt something with them,i only reacted in actions like distancing myself away frm them,making a face or simply just go quiet.

damn,that was absolutely depressing having to face all this in silent.

well,everything is okay for now.just hoping that my secretive-attitude will not come around again sooner or later.

i don't want to get all pathetic and depressed again,no way.

2010-06-30T21:15:00.002+08:00

i need happiness not sadness.

hahaha

2010-06-30T17:55:00.005+08:00

Lil' Johnny goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Mommy is the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you The People. The nanny, well, consider her The Working Class. Your baby brother, we'll call him The Future. Now go think about this and see if it makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying and runs to his room only to find that his diapers are very soiled.

So the little boy goes to his parents' room. Mom is sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he looks through the peephole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand what politics is now."

"Good son, tell me in your own words then what politics are."

The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.

-anonymous

haha,i almost pissed my pants off :D

creep

2010-06-27T12:36:00.004+08:00

"never have i seen double denim done so perfectly"

-yumcrispypata

you got that right. :O

2010-06-27T00:41:00.003+08:00

i jst do not knw what else to do now.i actually have a lot more to things to accomplish.like today,i spent almost 3 hrs trying to learn smthng that i was sppse to learn last year.i thght it'd be easy but i ws totally wrong.nw i'm wondering whether to contunue or jst stop.
i've also been playing the piano for 4-5 yrs i think? yet i still haven't learned any songs that i loved.i've been so busy being obedient to my teacher only playing songs frm jst the books.and so,it kind off brushed awy my love in playing the piano.haiiihh,now everytime when i wanna learn my fave songs,i tend to struggle -.-

FML.

i just... *sighs

i'm in need of motivations rght nw bcse it seems like as if i tend to give up easily lately.

UGH,i hate being desperate. -.-

don't wanna wake up and realize

2010-06-26T22:11:00.003+08:00

i dnt knw wht you did but you totally melted my stone-hard heart,for real.
ohdemmit. ♥